Through the looking glass
by Miia Swann
Summary: Sam starts believing he doesn't truly know everything about his brother and settles on a less than decorous means of righting that wrong. After all, there was still one person - angel - that Dean did entirely open up to. [established Destiel]


It was a simple arrangement that had come about quite accidentally. Or very intentionally, depending on who was being asked. But the point was, it worked and it worked well.

Of course it was just one of the many perks of having a brother with an angel for a boyfriend. An angel boyfriend who just happened to be very considerate and understanding of Sam's longing.

He should probably start at the beginning, which was the year before Dean went to hell.

All his life, Sam had assumed, rather naively that he knew his brother as well as Dean knew him. He had thought he understood everything there was to Dean Winchester.

But that final year before what they had then thought as Dean's one way ticket to the pit, Sam had seen little glimpses of the person beneath and each one had been a punch to the gut. It was one thing for the world to be taken in by the facade presented, but for Sam to be fooled...it was unforgivable.

The world, several worlds really, had bloody trails that was their track record of dying and killing for each other and Sam didn't even know Dean's favorite color. Not that even he would become that chick-flicky and ask. No, he had a little dignity left.

Thing was, when Dean came back, Sam had sworn it would be different. He had vowed to get to know everything about him because damn it, it was uncomfortable to be read like an open book and know that it didn't go both ways.

What Sam hadn't accounted for when he had made that vow was that maybe Dean was intentionally keeping himself closed up. It didn't make sense that everything had to be about Sam when Sam wanted it to be about Dean for a while.

This was where the above mentioned angel boyfriend came into the picture. Of course, even with the whole profound bond thing, Sam hadn't seen it coming. And when he had said he wanted to know his brother, he didn't particularly mean bisexuality but he wasn't complaining. Far from it really.

Because Castiel, angel of the Lord, was Sam's very own, personal looking glass.

Through Cas, Sam got to really see his brother. He could hear Dean talk for hours about things he never dreamed the brash hunter would be interested in, he could learn of important moments in his brothers life that he had somehow never known about despite living in each others back pockets.

And the more he listened, the more fascinated he was. All those times the angel had said Dean was the most beautiful soul he had even seen and Sam had never bothered to look, but now that he did, he was drawn in like a moth to the flame.

Of course, he had thought he was being discreet about all the eavesdropping and pretending to be asleep thing, but again, there were also downsides to angel boyfriends.

The first time it had happened, it was accidental. They were driving through the night and Sam had decided to take a nap in the back seat, only to be woken twenty minutes later by the arrival of the angel. He had been about to greet Cas when Dean's voice paused him.

"Hey angel" The words were soft, a caress really and suddenly, the younger Winchester was swallowing uncomfortably.

"Hello Dean" Cas responded in his perfectly normal, gravelly tones and yet it seemed private. Even the brief silence that followed did and so Sam remained still.

"Her name was Linda" The words were quiet but audible enough for Sam to frown at it. Was Dean still talking about the case they had just wrapped up?

"The first victim. Linda, 24, sales girl, only daughter to elderly parents, wanted to marry her high school sweetheart but waited this long because he had the responsibility of his half sister after losing the rest of his family to a crash"

Sam was even more confused now. When had Dean bothered to find out all that? They had after all traced the pattern to Linda only at the very end of the case, having never read reports about her, what with her being dismissed as an accident and all that.

The confusion morphed into surprise when Dean continued to talk, going in length to describe all the victims lost in the bleary town they had just put in their rearview mirror. He never spoke of the case itself, just the people who had died. He mentioned one of them having a dog, another's love for tennis and random things that had been important to those people.

This wasn't Dean boasting about a case or reviewing corpses, this was him talking about the people who unfairly lost their lives and deserved to be remembered. And through it all, a good half dozen of victims, Castiel simply listened. And even when Dean was finished, nothing else was said about it. No sympathies offered. Nothing. Just silence.

To Sam however, it sounded like a familiar ritual. One that both men in the front were accustomed to. His curiosity was piqued though. Since when did Dean really care about every victim enough to find out so much? Did he always talk about all of them? What would he do about it before Castiel?

The next time it happened, Sam had intended for it to. After the hunt was over, he had insisted on sharing the room that night and joined Dean in front of the TV for a while, purposefully faking loud yawns before calling it a night and going to the bed. He only had to wait five minutes before Castiel showed and again, they spoke about the victims. Every single one.

Sam had been right. It was a ritual. And he didn't know what to think of it. He was the one that got emotionally invested in cases, not Dean. In all these years, he had never seen the older hunter look back or think twice about the corpses. They were always just that - corpses. But now, while talking to Castiel, they were people. With likes and dreams and everything.

He had still been grappling about, trying to put this side of his brother with the rest of his hunter persona when the silence had broken and a topic even more surprising had come up. Their school. That in itself was surprising enough, but the mention of a friend? A girl especially. Since when did his brother talk to girls? his lips were always otherwise engaged where they were concerned.

Her name was Ellie and she had tried to teach his brother origami? What the actual hell?

"I don't remember a thing of course, but man, she actually made me sit down and try to make a bloody swan!" Dean was saying and it was all Sam could do to not choke on air.

He listened some more and realised that Ellie had been a kid; in the year below Sam actually and must have been what, eight if his estimate was right. Dean had spotted her when he had been looking for Sam and had somehow taken to her. Apparently, spotting a paper bird in the victims house had reminded him of her.

He didn't learn much else that night, Dean had tried to recreate paper birds from the magazine on the side and somehow between his and Cas's failed attempts, the pair had moved on to things they were better at and ended up making out, which was really where Sam drew the line at listening in.

There had been no turning back after that, he listened every chance he got, pulling out every trick in the book so he could be within hearing distance. He wanted to feel guilty about it, really. But the guilt never came. This was his chance to get to know his brother and after all the sins he had under his belt, he could afford this tiny one.

Of course, Sam also had standards. Curious as he was, he tuned out on the nights it was about Castiel. It was interesting, the things the angel had seen and his views on it, but those really weren't for his ears and unlike with Dean, he couldn't claim the rights to listen to them. The last thing he had expected though was to be thanked for that small courtesy, so when Cas waited in the Impala with Sam and spoke the words in earnest, he was entirely confused.

"For what Cas?"

"For always turning away when I share matters of my heart" Castiel answered sincerely.

"What are you-?" Sam began before understanding dawned and he flushed bright red. Of course the angel knew! What had he been thinking?

"I - I'm so sorry. Really. I am. Just please don't tell Dean… I'll really stop-" Sam had suddenly regressed back to a five year old caught with the cookie jar.

"Sam, it is alright. You want to learn about the wonderful person Dean is. It is perfectly acceptable" Castiel assured.

Sam blinked. He was being forgiven. He was being thanked. He was trying to wrap his head around the directness with which the statement had been said. From anyone else, it would have sounded odd, but with Castiel…

"That means I don't need to stop?" He hedged carefully and the angel tilted his head to the patented angle.

"I do not suppose there is a reason to. No" He answered thoughtfully.

"I'm listening to your private moments Cas. You can ask me to butt the hell out of things that aren't my business" Sam pointed out, just trying to let the angel know that it was perfectly within his rights to do so.

"Dean is your brother Sam. It obviously means you are already involved." Castiel had replied evenly.

The conversation had of course been cut off when Dean returned and though he didn't have the guts to bring up the topic again for fear of Cas changing his mind, Sam was eternally grateful for the opportunity.

He had heard Dean laugh more freely than he had done in all his life, he had learnt that his brother's knowledge of cars was more extensive than he had imagined, he found that Dean could actually play the guitar and sing things to the key if he attempted it and the list was endless.

That didn't mean it never came up though. But by the time it did, eight months had passed and Sam was looking at his brother in a whole new light.

"You are someday going to realise that I know you've been listening right?"

That was how the topic had come up actually. And it was thrown in so casually during breakfast that Sam had choked and spilled his drink and accidentally dislodged the salt shaker on the table, all in one move.

"Wh- what?" he managed to question. Only to have his brother roll his eyes and entwine his hands with Castiel's.

"Oh come on Sammy, you must have known that I would know that you know" Dean answered. Sam gaped.

"I uh - how long - ?" Sam asked, trying to figure out exactly how much he was going to have to apologise for.

"Since the third time" The response was smug and again Sam was left highly flustered. That was what? Ten months ago? Two months before he had even known Cas knew...and all along...both of them...

"And you never said anything till now?" he knew he was as red as one could get and was decidedly avoiding both their gazes. Especially Cas's small smile…

"Figured you'd get bored soon enough" Dean shrugged nonchalantly. That of course brought Sam's mind to focus.

"Bored? How can I get bored Dean? Thats thirty years of your life I spent right next to you and never knew. Thats a wealth of information that somehow hasn't yet run out! I didn't even know there was so much I hadn't known and-" Sam was launching into an defense when his brother sighed.

"Breathe Samantha" He cut across, making Sam huff but obey.

"I'm good as long as you don't get yourself off from listening to us" Dean added with a smirk.

"Dean, I told you-" Castiel was reprimanding and Sam made an excellent bitch face even as a part of him registered what his brother's words really meant.

He had known Sam was listening and opened up to him as much as to Cas. That was truly the maximum Dean could drop his guards where Sam - no, in this case Sammy - was concerned and really, the younger brother couldn't have asked for more.

Dean had let the looking glass stay.

* * *

><p><strong>AN :** Sam is a particulary difficult point for me. I have no idea how to write him really...but i'm hoping he wasn't off character. Please let me know if you think he was...or if you have any other pointers. Please?


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